Saturday, September 8, 2012

ultrasounds and possible surgery

bad news first. catherine had a follow up, routine appointment with the surgeon in atlanta like we always do every 6 months. i honestly expected him to say don't come back for a year, everything's fine and you can spread out the time between appointments now. but the x-ray we had gotten the day before (again, routine) showed something he's worried about, and catherine will get an upper GI wednesday to help decide whether or not she needs another surgery. during the appointment i said "did you see the x-ray" to the surgeon and he said "yep-it's worrisome" and i can't describe what happened inside me when i heard him say that. i don't really want to talk about it and i'm rushing through this part of the post because i don't want to talk about it. and i'm also pretty confused about it. i saw the x-ray compared with the one from february and in both there is a little area right where her diaphragm patch is where it's elevated into her chest a tiny bit. this was also the case on her post-op x-ray in june 2011 the day after surgery in charleston. but the difference in the one from last wednesday is that, before it appeared solid or fluid-filled, and now it appears to be filled with air. so they don't know if it's stomach of intestine or colon or what, and this could be a problem. catherine sweet girl, you are completely asymptomatic and of course it's impossible to imagine surgery, again, when you're doing so well and having no problems. but if it is bowel in your chest and it twisted and became stuck up there and lost blood supply, this could turn really bad really fast, and it would be an emergency surgery and you would likely lose even more bowel at that point. so i hate this. it's a little confusing because it looks SO VERY SIMILAR to the x-rays from before and when the radiologist sent her report of the x-ray to my work, i read it and it said that it was the same as february's x-ray. she didn't notice anything worth mentioning that was worrisome. i know she's not the surgeon, and that i'm not either. but i sure don't want you to have another surgery. then we wonder do we do this now before adam comes or do we wait until next spring/summer and do we do it here in atlanta or do we go back to charleston where dr hebra is since he's been in there before and he knows your anatomy and history, etc??? i want to scream a little bit. and take you far far away and forget about any of these possibilities. and i'm going to stop talking about it now so i can maybe stop thinking about it.

good news. your 4 year checkup went great. my goal for you was to reach 30 pounds by the time you turned 4 and you made it. you were 30.5 lbs at the checkup which puts you on the 15th percentile for weight. this is a fact worth celebrating=) and you are 39.75 inches tall which puts you at the 50th percentile for height. your BMI is super low but that's no surprise. and it's on the chart so no worries=)

we had our 24 week ultrasound for your little brother last week and he looks good and healthy, measuring where he should and i think they kicked me out of the specialist's office=) (i don't have to go back for more ultrasounds unless something new comes up) here are some of my favorite pictures from the three ultrasounds we've had...
12 week ultrasound...profile and little 12 week alien face

16 week ultrasound

16 week alien face=)

it's a boy!

another it's a boy shot=)

beautiful 24 week adam. i love this sweet profile=)

sweet little foot that i can't wait to tickle and kiss

this is kinda blurry, but at the bottom is his face looking down and to our right, and above his nose and eye are his little fingers curling around his toes=) (the arrow is pointing to his index finger)

you're pretty happy that my belly is big enough for you to see that there's a baby inside it. you keep trying to feel him kick but i think you might be a little too impatient to really hold your hand there long enough=) the other day you said "mommy-i like your belly because i like your baby" and i thought adam would like to know that one day=)

today is the last day of basement work! the carpet is going in right this second and if they finish in time we will be moving furniture down there tonight! we can't wait=) daddy is excited for his soft carpeted man-cave and the new recliner we bought him today, and i'm honestly just excited to get the office/guest room furniture out of what will be sweet boy's nursery so i can set up his room! catherine i think you will be so precious helping me. and i'm imagining that i will find you in his room playing with his things or just looking at the sweet baby clothes that you always ask to try on;) you're little, but you're still a 4 year old and way too big to fit into a 6 month old onesie=)

i love you sweet angel. and i love you too littlest angel growing in my belly. i'm so thankful i get to be mommy to you two and daddy and i get giddy thinking about all these precious people that make up our family=)


1 comment:

The Hankinson's said...

Oh sweet friend....I wish I could take your worry away and hold it for you. I'm praying for you and Donnie to be able to make the right decisions for Catherine and to feel at peace with what lies ahead. Happy to hear that lil Adam is growing as he should and looking healthy! Congrats on the basement! Can't wait to see picts!