hi catherine=)
there are a few songs that have been reminding me of you lately. the first one is called "held" by natalie grant. not to be all dramatic (mommy gets nervous when things get dramatic), but this one is heart-wrenchingly sad...it talks about a sweet baby being taken to heaven after 2 months of living...what are parents supposed to do or think then...do we expect to be exempt from that kind of sadness...ultimately that the promise we've been given is that God will always hold us, but not necessarily spare us. the first time i heard this was when your daddy's mom knew she was dying of cancer and i played it for her one day. we talked about what it might mean, what the "sacred" represented in the song...and now the words ring true to me in a new way, my love. no matter how much it might make me cry, i do think it's a beautiful song worth hearing and thinking of you...
fun fact: your granddaddy torrance and i danced to another song by natalie grant at mine and daddy's wedding reception-it's called "always be your baby" and i love it=)
the second song is by plumb, and it's called "God will take care of you". it's on an album called "blink" and all the songs on there are about when the singer had her baby. they are precious songs=) this song is simple and sweet and makes me relax a little...
the third song is probably more popular and recognizable. it's called "i saw God today" by george strait. i think i cry every time i hear it, but i never change the radio station when it comes on=) to me it represents what our dreams were, and still are, for you sweet girl. but we are learning to let our dreams for you change a little if that's what's asked of us...
i hope you like the songs my little one=)
mommy
ps-thanks for rolling around in there a lot while i've been writing this-it makes me feel like you like what i'm writing and you are dancing to the songs=)
Downsizing Update: Almost 5 Years Later
11 hours ago
13 comments:
Oh Katie...this was a tear jerker post. How are you? I miss you and love you a lot!
It is so sweet and wonderful when you share your feeling with your little baby... I will keep praying for you and your baby's health and safety
Florence
katie, i finally had time today to sit down and read your letters to catherine in private (because i knew i would need to be alone). katie, you have always been so strong. now i'm seeing your strength on a totally different level. i love you so much and i'm so thankful you have decided to share your thoughts to sweet catherine marie. please take comfort in being lifted up daily in the prayers of all those who love you and Donnie.
You have the wisdom and passion and courage and love of a saint. I have read your letters over and over, many times each day since I found you. I think I was sent to you by an angel... because of the comfort you bring. But I never thought I would need the comfort that I need today... as my very best friend's first grandchild, Caroline, was born last Saturday night as a baby angel. I turned to your "letters to catherine" for spiritual guidance and wisdom... and I thank you from the depths of my heart and soul for being there. Your strength and your love warm this earth of ours as if you are touched by both God's sun, and son. I will send my dear friend and her heartbroken daughter to you.
You are always in my prayers.
xo - Sharon
Reading your letters to Catherine is an act of worshiping our Lord. He shines so brilliantly in and through them. You are an incredible, incredible woman my sweet Katie. Be strong and courageous the Lord is with you...it is so very evident He is with you dear friends.
Love you,
Hannah
Those are beautiful songs and Catherine will love each of them. Held is a song that really comforts me as well.
Just found out about your blog and read it ALL. I have thought of you so often... and wondered how you were doing. My best childhood friend went through this and I learned so much from her - and now I know how to pray for you. I've walked this journey with a friend and while I can't begin to know your exact situation, I lost 3 babies myself and I do know that grief. I also know that God is a miracle-giving God and He can change everything. That's what I'm asking for. Much love.
Hey Katie!
I don't know if you'll remember who I am, but I am a good friend of Kristy's. She was telling me about your pregnancy, and directed me to your blog.
I would like to let you know that it is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. There was not a single entry that I didn't both cry and laugh during. There are so many things that you've written that just tug at your heart strings. Thank you for allowing other people to become a part of this story. I know that you have plenty of people praying for you and your sweet baby. This truly has touched me, thank you.
I wish the best to you guys, and to baby Catherine. I'll continue to keep with the blog, and will be praying for you guys.
Clay Barnhart
I happened upon your blog completely by chance, and not a single entry has left me without tears. I'm pretty sure there's a tissue on my desk for every post you've written.
Thank you for sharing your story. Your spirit, your faith and your steadfast commitment to your family is evident in everything you're writing. Despite the sadness of your experience, you are such an uplifting person.
I hope you don't mind if a complete stranger continues to check in on your family and your blog. I'll be thinking of all of you.
I happened upon your blog and couldn't stop reading. Wow!! What an amazing mother you are!! I just pray that God will continue to hold you and your husband and sweet Catherine in his arms. Thank you for sharing this experience. You never know whom you might reach through your testimony and heart wrenching journey. I can't imagine going through something like this without our sweet Lord holding our hands. May God richly bless you and your family and I hope you don't mind my continuing to check your blog. My prayers are with you and your family and your precious Catherine! Lisa
Though I don't always comment, I read every blog entry you write. This entry was so very sweet. I am so in awe of your strength. You are in our thoughts.
I know its selfish, but I honestly can't read your blogs... until today.I started with just this one and over time I want to read more to know how to pray for you better. Catherine is one lucky girl to have you for a mama. You help me to cherish my little ones more- thank you.
Bekah
Hi Katie. I don't know if you remember me or not but my name is Melissa Raburn. I'm 22 now, but I remember you playing with me lots of times at Aunt Margrets. My parents(Dan and Marcia) went to the family reunion at the lake today and were told about your pregnancy and this blog and told me about it. You absolutely amaze me with your strength. One of my favorite quotes is "You can't just have faith when the miracles happen. You have to have it when they don't." I'm going to be praying that God bring about whatever will bring him the most glory. While I do pray that a miracle is the answer, I know God will take care of you and carry you through this if it isn't. Even though we haven't talked in years, know that if you ever need to talk, no matter the time(I'm a night owl) I'm always available to talk. I may not know what you're going through but I'm a pretty good listener(just e-mail me if you want my numbers). Just remember we're all praying for you and your baby! ~Melissa~
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