Thursday, July 31, 2008

lake trip=)

catherine-



hey baby girl=) we got to take you to the lake a few weeks ago. it was such a great trip, and we think you liked it too. mommy's grandparents got to spend time with their hands on my belly, feeling you flip flop around and kick them-they loved it=) your great-grandparents got you the prettiest white dress, and my daddy's mommy made you a beautiful pink blanket. even if you don't get to enjoy it, i know i will treasure it forever. we took long boat rides, which are your mommy's favorite, and even though my back paid for it later, it was precious to me that i was able to have you along for the rides. daddy and i sat on the swing for a long time one day talking about you-part of it was so sweet and funny-we laugh so much as you stick your feet out and push out the right side of my tummy (you're also doing that right now=)). but part of it was so sad my sweet girl. we were talking about what we would do if we end up needing to have a funeral for you. i hate even writing that. i was thinking about us sitting there and seeing this tiny little box up at the front of the church-knowing that you are not actually in there but your sweet little body is-i'm gonna want to reach out and pick you up and hold you so badly. how am i supposed to even sit there and watch that? it doesn't seem the least bit right that a mommy should feel this precious person inside her that's kicking and thriving and having the hiccups, and at the same time be planning that person's funeral. this is the part of things that seems impossible for me. your daddy is so strong-he is soft and sensitive and lets me feel what i feel and cry my eyes out when i need to do that, and he is also an absolute rock to remind me how much we love each other and how we've fallen in love with you, and more than any of that how safely God is holding all three of us and how nice it is that we can trust Him with all of this. that we can trust Him in that moment that you are born...that's the one i have to keep remembering. well none of that is fun, my love, but i do have some sweet pictures to show you from the trip.




the 3 of us taking a nap=)

talking about you on the swing

the hammock-a mommy favorite=)

on the back deck before a boat ride

a sunset cruise=)

we loved being with you there, and we will never forget such a sweet time of no work or school, and just enjoying having you in my tummy=)

i love you sweet girl-

mommy

7 comments:

Josh and Kate plus 1 said...

I don't know you, but I'm amazed by you. I'm a friend of Shelly Torres & heard about your blog from her roomate. I am absolutly amazed by your courage and the strength the Lord has given you! Will certainly be praying for you, Catherine & Donnie.
~Kate Walker

Sarah said...

What sweet pictures. We are thinking of you and praying for you.

Sarah and Danny (Traci's daughter and sil)

Erin said...

I love this post. As always, please know I am praying for all three of you. Love you.

Missives From Suburbia said...

You wrote "it doesn't seem the least bit right that a mommy should feel this precious person inside her that's kicking and thriving and having the hiccups, and at the same time be planning that person's funeral."

It's not right. I'm hoping for a miracle for you and that beautiful girl.

Emilie said...

I love you Maggie Kay! I think about you all the time and will be on my knees for you in the next three weeks. And, I'll see you in three weeks!

Laura said...

Once again you amaze me. Your family is so beautiful. We continue to pray for all of you.

ilse sears said...

Katie, this is your "Aunt Spanish", remember me? You used to call me as such when you were little. Your Mom, Peggy and Terry, your Dad, were at my house last Saturday. We talked about you and Donny for a long time but I think our conversation took us mainly to Catherine. Wow!! quite a famous little girl. You both have raised her and put her on the highest pedestal: exactly where she belongs. She is a Star...She is an angel...she is an inspiration to all of us. There is so much love emanating from you and Donny. The letters are some of the best I have ever read. The love you profess to her and the beautiful conversations you have with her are a piece of art...real art from the heart. These missives and the words you use to communicate with your little one raise me to a different level. Catherine is so important and so special. The day will arrive and you will be able to hold her. You will be able to whisper in her ear everything she needs to know in order to exist (no matter how long she has). Life is ephimeral. It is a moment that sometimes linger more in some. You are both truly so special and we love you. Jack and Ilse Sears