what you're doing lately...

hi sweet love=)

it's snowing again. lots of snow. have i mentioned that i'm not so impressed with snow? it's beautiful, but i find it more of a pain than anything else. i sound like a party-pooper, and i'm not happy about that. i promise we will build snowmen and make snow angels and go sledding and marvel at the wonder of all the white stuff when you're big enough to do those things. but right now i'm not so pleased. mostly because i'm scheduled to work like 6 nights in a row and most of us are just sleeping at the hospital after our shifts just in case it's hard to drive in to the hospital. sometimes i laugh (but i love it) at how the only places i've ever lived don't know how to function in the snow. everybody freaks out and everything shuts down (except the hospital, of course) and people sleep at their places of employment just in case the roads are bad??? what??? i'm being super pessimistic. i'm not happy about that either. but i just think it's funny. and i fit right in as one of those people who freak out a little.........ok now that i'm reading this over again i would like to change my stance just a bit. i do like very much going to the mountains on a trip where i know i'm going to be in the snow and i can ski or sled or anything else and i'm fully prepared with my 8 tons of clothes appropriate for weather like that and i don't really have to drive anywhere. i like that. but i don't like living in it. i'll stop at that because i'm starting to sound like a crazy unpleasant person.

here are some pictures from our week! you are hilarious. and you're growing up so much so fast. you're getting better and better at walking. i'm so proud of you and i think you're pretty proud of yourself. you're now not starting the more intense feeding program until march 8 so we're buckling down with your "feeding therapy" at home. you don't mind so much. a couple days this week i've snuck into the room without you knowing it and you will have taken the end of your feeding tube and pulled up your shirt and you're trying so hard to attach the tube to your little g-tube button in your tummy. it cracks me up and as soon as i come back with the camera you drop the tube and come at me for the camera. needless to say, i don't have the best picture of you doing this, but you'll get the idea. when you were sick i got a new fancy thermometer that takes your temperature really fast in your ear and you LOVE IT. you sit patiently and cooperate when i'm taking yours, then you take the thermometer from me and take your own temperature and then mine and piglet's and anyone else in the room. and everything else is going in the ears too. the end of your feeding tube goes in the ears, and so do the little plug-in's for the television (i'm pretty sure i shouldn't be letting you do this). this morning we spent a couple hours in mommy's bed sleeping and you're the sweetest cuddliest thing. you have to be crammed up against my body to go to sleep. i love it so much. and every now and then you'll flip yourself over and lean up and give me a kiss on the mouth and then lay back down and go back to sleep. it's my favorite thing you do right now. your spontaneous acts of love=) you love to be held and even when you're not sleepy you lay your head on my shoulder and wrap your arms around me and pat my arms and squeeze me so tight. you're the sweetest little love bug. i think my favorite mommy/daughter time is when i rock you to sleep. (yes, we do that. we have our reasons.) and i get to pray my favorite prayers over you while i feel your sweet little body on my tummy and chest and pat your bottom and rub your head. this makes for one of my most cherished memories and i am so lucky to get to do this with you almost every night. i can't get enough of you. i miss you so much when i leave and i'm not sure what i'm gonna do when we leave you with gigi for a few days in april when mommy goes to chicago to meet robyn and shelly for a girls' weekend. (YAY!) i think it will probably physically hurt a little bit i will miss you so much but i know we will both have so much fun. and now for a note on that whole rocking you to sleep thing. i think i feel defensive about it. not because anybody makes me feel bad (thank you, "anybody," for not making me feel bad about it). i feel defensive because i always said i wouldn't do it. i would teach my sweet babies from the beginning to lay down while awake and go to sleep by themselves. but having a sweet girl with a trach changed that a little. i briefly contemplated trying it, but while you had a trach, if you had started crying once i laid you down, i would've had to go in every 2 minutes and suction you. this would completely defeat the purpose of putting you in your crib by yourself to get yourself to sleep. and then once you got the trach out i just loved rocking you to sleep so much i couldn't give it up. i know, i know. that's a mommy problem, not a baby problem. owell, i say. we're both little snuggle monsters and i'm not ready to give it up. hence, i start eating my words as a mother. so be it. it won't be the last time=)

one of your new favorite things to do is to put one of your tea set cups on your toes and then put your socks on top of them. then you walk around staring at your feet laughing at how funny they look and making sure we see them too. (pictures to follow...) you are loving bob the tomato more than ever. you say "BA!" so loud when you see him on the tv or when you just see a dvd case with him on it. you still love elmo very much. you're imitating a lot of words we are saying but bob is by far the clearest. you've figured out our dvd player. the other day you grabbed a dvd from the shelf, took it out of its case, scooted over to the tv, pushed eject on the dvd player and took the dvd out of there, replaced it with the dvd you picked out, and pushed it closed. then you looked up at us so we could push our magical buttons and make it play. little smarty-pants. you love goldfish (me too) and we snack on them together all day long. you love your little tea sets and you go around with your spoon feeding you and me and daddy and veronica and elmo and your turtle (this big plastic turtle that you bounce on) and everything else. i think maybe i've told you that before but it's very sweet. you still love books and you'll go pick a few out and bring them over to me and climb up in my lap for us to read. and you still kiss almost every page. especially the book i made about your first year-it's so funny watching you point to daddy and me and to yourself and then you kiss where we are on the pages. we read books about animals and when we get to the giraffe or lion you point to the giraffe and lion in our den. (the giraffe is from grandypa's store, and the lion is your little walker lion who roars and laughs when you walk with him.) you are the happiest little thing. so laid back. you're spoiling us rotten. i love you sweet baby. on to the pictures.

we have created a monster.

another sweet picture of you and your nebulizer.

goodness you're a cutie. see the cups in your socks?


a close-up of the tea-cup-filled socks.



trying to attach the feeding tube to your tummy=)

i love you sweet angel. you are the happiest place in my heart.

mommy

Lord pour your blessings out upon Catherine. Fill her with your Holy Spirit-with your love and joy, peace and patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Reveal Yourself to her and draw her to You-may she fall hard and fast for you and be forever changed by knowing Your love deeply. I pray that her life would honor You. That when people look at her, they would see You and be drawn to You. I pray that she would want nothing more. I pray that You would allow her to see herself through Your eyes, and that would give her all the confidence and humility she needs to live a life that would reflect Your love. Guide her and lead her. Guard her and protect her. Give her wisdom to hear Your voice clearly, and courage to do what You say. Thank You for saving her. I am forever humbled and honored that you chose me to be her mother. We love you Lord. We are immensely thankful that You call us Your children. We can ask for no greater gift.