beauty queen=)

hi catherine=)



let's talk about something more fun...do you want to see how ridiculously gorgeous you are? last week at the 34 week ultrasound we got the most beautiful picture of you-here it is:


can you tell that your eye is open? i love it. i looked over at your daddy the other night and it reminded me so much of this picture-i think you will look like him=) my doctor tells me i got "gypped" and you look just like your daddy in all these ultrasound pictures, but i certainly don't mind. i happen to think he's cute and you are clearly a beauty queen=)

as of last thursday you are "vertex", or head down in my belly. this means i won't necessarily have to have a c-section=) your daddy gave you the biggest pep talk when he found out you had flipped over like most babies do. he kept telling you how proud of you we are and that you have done all we could ask of you this far, and if you could just breathe when you come out that would be so great, but if that ends up just being too much for your little lungs then that was ok too and we would still love you so much. no matter what you do when you come out, we really are so excited to meet you. i keep playing the possibilities of that moment (when you're born) over and over in my head. i kinda wish i wouldn't do that, but i can't help it too much. i'm absolutely terrified of it. i finally started thinking that if you're not able to breathe and not doing well, you are meeting Jesus right in that very second and i can't even begin to grasp the glory and wonder in that. i was telling this to a friend at work and how that is what i imagine will be the only comfort for me in that moment, and she said "but will you really be thinking that?"...and i have no idea. but it's just what i have to think right now or i don't know how else to consider that you might not live...and i honestly don't have a clue if that's good theology or not, thinking that we meet Jesus the instant we leave this world (i honestly don't care too much about "good theology"-i just know who Jesus is and i love Him, and i tend to think that's all that really matters), but i think it's ok for me to remain in that mindset if it helps me in the slightest way to deal with the fact that my little girl might die as soon as she is born.

you, your daddy, and i all had our picture taken by missy bane last week. do you remember how i said we were going to do that? the pictures are beautiful of your sweet little self in that ever-expanding tummy of mine. we felt peaceful, comfortable, and happy there-like all 3 of us are very in love with each other-and i think it comes out in the pictures with you. here is the proof sheet (they are very tiny, but you were there, you remember=))

i think the pictures do a great job of capturing what a precious sweet time this has been for us with you growing in my belly. i'm picturing you smiling in there right along with us=)

i love you my sweet one-

mommy