little angel girl of mine-
mama can't get a handle on her life. oddly enough, one of the best indications that i don't have this life of ours under control is when i haven't blogged in a while. weird, right? yes. but this is where i record our family's stuff, and i feel like it's gone forever if i don't write it down!
so for the last four months i've been sending text messages to myself when i think of things that you are doing lately that i want to record. and here i am, waiting in the supreme court building to see if i'm going to be called to serve in jury duty. and it's not so surprising to me that this is the (one?) place i have found a spare second to write. and here we go...
~last fall your teacher had conferences with the parents of her students. she said you were on track academically and she had no concerns about you, and she said what stood out to her most about you is how kind you are to other people. sweet girl. mama's heart wanted to burst. i am proud of you for so many things. SO MANY THINGS. like being alive, for instance. but when she told me this i didn't think i would be able to contain myself. i felt like the world stood still and one of my greatest mama dreams for you came true right then and there. that you would love people the way that Jesus loves. i'm sitting here with tears in my eyes just typing it. we've always known God had a special plan for your life. ever since that day in april 2008, when the perinatologist told us that there was a slim chance that you would live for more than 2 weeks. you precious little lady. words can't describe how i love you, sweet girl.
~you got a tennis racket for christmas and are pretty excited about learning! that's something mom and dad like to do too, so we have big dreams to play as a family. you took lessons at school for a few weeks (it just didn't work out with my days off work to keep you in lessons there) and you are super cute swinging your racket and showing us what you've learned=)
~you've also been taking dance lessons at school. you have your first recital next month and i can't wait to see you in all of your 4 1/2 year old cuteness prancing around that room=)
~you love mcdonald's chicken nuggets. and japanese steakhouses. and these parmesan and herbs spaghetti noodles that come in a blue box. you still like carrots a lot. and broccoli and asparagus. saturday night robyn and john came over for dinner and you ate 3 chicken drumsticks and asked for seconds of asparagus. robyn couldn't believe her eyes=)
~girlfriend. you LOVE to pretend. anything and everything. all the time. ALLTHETIME. you used to want to pretend that we were at school and you were the "special helper" and joshua was always in trouble, but lately you usually want to pretend to be various princesses (cinderella, rapunzel, merida, snow white, sleeping beauty, belle, sophia the first) and sometimes we pretend to be characters from the lion, the witch and the wardrobe (do you hear that, renee?? ;)) and if 20 seconds pass and i haven't said something that my appointed character would say, you quickly tell me "you're not saying what she says!". girlfriend loves to pretend.
~you still love babies. sometimes you pretend to breastfeed them, and you'll ask me where your "pumper" is (you're with me most of the time when i'm pumping).
~you have a preoccupation with the number 145. whenever you're asking how many of something there are, if you think it's a large number you always guess 145=)
~you use the number 100 to represent something big. the other day i showed you a black truck like the one daddy used to have, and i told you we sold it when we moved to virginia. you were wondering how we got it to the new owners, and you asked if it fit in a box to give it to them. i said no it couldn't fit in a box. and you said "but what if the box was big! like 100 big! like really really big and the truck was in it!" and then you started hackling uncontrollably-laughing your little head off-you are the cutest. i love little four year old brains=)
~you do this new thing where you put your fingers clasped together and hold your fists up to your face and make this ridiculous sweet face and say "please? please please please???" when you want something. the first time i saw this i started cracking up and asked where you learned that. you promptly told me dinosaur train. gotta love pbs.
~last week a song was playing on the radio and you asked if it was justin bieber. i said no it's taylor swift, and where did you learn about justin bieber? you said "maybe i saw him on some stickers. maybe at the lake." i have definitely never seen any stickers of just bieber at the lake, but i like your creativity=)
~we were at the lake 2 weeks ago and we were holding hands while you jumped on a bed (the only time you're allowed to jump on a bed is when we're holding your hands. feel free to question our parenting choices) and you had this elated grin on your face and said "this bed has a nice boingy!" i'm personally very glad you are a conossiouer of the boingy-ness of a bed.
~you're getting so big, sweet girl. little things keep telling me that you are, whether i like it or not. it's like God knows we couldn't handle it if all of a sudden you were this independent little girl who didn't need her parents anymore. of course i want you to be independent. isn't that the mission of a parent? to grow their children into adults who are able to thrive without their parents? but sometimes it feels like a smack in the face when i realize that my baby isn't a baby anymore, but can do things by herself. like when i was up feeding adam in the middle of the night, in the dark, and i heard your little feet walk across your room and open your door, then i watched you with half-open eyes shuffle down the hall and go to the potty, flush and wash your hands, then shuffle back down the hall to your room, close your door, and get back in bed. for whatever reason, that little scene made me realize that my baby girl wasn't a baby anymore. that she didn't need me quite as much. and honestly? i think it had a LOT (maybe everything) to do with the fact that i had been feeling so guilty over not being able to be with you as much since adam was born. but regardless, it opened my eyes to my little girl growing up. this makes me feel so many different things, but ultimately i'm so proud of you sweet little lady.
there it is. a long overdue update on some catherine-isms. sweet little angel. can't get enough of her.