Monday, December 20, 2010

scratch that

hi sweet baby.

today you got to start eating real food. and gigi brought you an elmo airplane that you've been riding up and down the hall giggling with joy=)

but that's the end of the good news for today.

dr saad called and said the post-op x-ray they took saturday night looks like you have stomach and some bowel up in your chest that must've gotten up there through another hole closer to your esophagus (hiatal hernia). they were trying pretty carefully to avoid that area during the first surgery, and that's why they didn't see it when they were in there. insert expletives here, if you're an expletive kind of person.

they're doing an upper GI in the morning to confirm all this and then move on to surgery to repair it either tomorrow afternoon or wednesday. and we start all over again.

things to pray for:

-that they really wouldn't use fentanyl this time, now that they've seen your reaction (i talked to sweet mary dillon, one of the anesthesiologists in virginia that i used to work with, and she confirmed that morphine would be perfectly fine to use. she also confirmed that the anesthesia provider that did your surgery and completely sent me into an outrage has no place taking care of you, much less any other child)

-that we are in the right place, with the right surgeons. your pediatrician/my boss talked with dr rodgers this morning and they discussed the possibility of a second opinion at MUSC. i desperately don't want to do this, but if i knew it was the right thing we would go there in a heartbeat. i'll talk with dr saad about that this afternoon when he comes to see us.

-that this surgery goes just as smoothly as the last one seemed to--with no chest tubes or ventilators or picu afterwards. and that you would recover just as easily as you have these last few days.

-the surgery flipping works this time and there are no other holes hanging out anywhere waiting to pop some bowel on up to your chest.

i love you sweet angel. i am so scared. and sad and frustrated. but mostly scared.

our sweet and hilarious friend caroline bedingfield suggested that daddy and i stay away from sharp objects and ledges. and i'm trying desperately to go numb, but that's virtuously impossible when you own my heart.

Jesus hold us close.

mommy

10 comments:

whiteallover said...

Praying for that sweet girl Katie!

Heather and Travis said...

Praying for all of you!

Deb said...

So sorry you have to go through this Katie, I know it's rough on Catherine, but somehow, it's hard on us Mama's too. Do what you have to for your girl! Will keep you close in thought and prayer!

Kathy said...

Oh Katie, I'm so sorry. I have no words. My heart is sad. I'm praying. Love you.

DevonLeah said...

I cant even believe this!! =( so sorry for sweet Catherine and your family...Cont prayers. From one CDH /Trach momma to another...I have to think back during ECMO days, trach times etc and TRY to find the strength ...and God continues to guide. There are many pity parties in b/t all that, oh and some, " Are you kidding?!?!?!" and " He just needs a break!!" but we cont to lean on the Lord. You are a great mom. Once again, so sorry you all have to go through this very trying time. Prayers for fast healing!!! ((hugs))

Abby and Pete said...

I am just shaking my head. and sending up prayers like bullets.

Renee said...

davis family - so sorry for this setback. my heart is breaking for you all. turning to the One who ultimately owns all your hearts.

prayers, prayers, prayers! <3

Erin said...

Oh Katie...I cannot imagine. We are praying.

Meredith said...

Katie --

So sorry -- we're praying!

Love,
Jason and Meredith Kaiser

Irvin family said...

I read your letters to Catherine all the time. We also live with a CDH MIRACLE. We will be praying for sweet Catherine and for you.